It has been a tough week with a little dab of soul-searching tucked away there right in the middle. It has coincided with – possibly been inspired by – a busy patch of work that has needed to be completed within tight deadlines, and extra things to do that have arrived from all directions.
Having been in touch with a fellow writer yesterday afternoon, encouraging them to continue through the brickbats of fortune, it was delicious irony that barely an hour later I had my own twist of fate, news that funding for a commission would not be forthcoming. Normally this would be neither here nor there, but to have the news arrive barely four weeks before the performance, and having been informed months ago that the process would be “straightforward” is unfortunate.
More fool me for not waiting until receiving confirmation before getting started, I suppose, but, either way, this is a little late in the day to be delivering news about funding for a commission, successful or otherwise. Ultimately I need to take my own advice that it is not how hard you hit that matters, but how hard you can be hit and still come back for more.
As it is, the piece goes on ice for the time being and maybe possibly be funded elsewhere, although the time spent on it could have gone on other projects in the meantime. Ah well, it is all grist to the mill, and it has all helped to add to my knowledge of what goes where musically, what fits in with this or that.
So now I need to decide which piece comes next, and the answer to that is probably twofold, for I have a commission on the table for which funds, happily, have been forthcoming, but I also want to try my hand at a competition. I like to say that each grey hair I now have represents a lesson learned, and I think I have gained one or two more of those distinguished fellows this week, but I will know better next time.