This is going to become something of a refrain over the coming weeks, but I continued work on the symphony yesterday morning, this time adding details and lines to the final movement, putting flesh on the bones and leaves on the boughs. It feels as if progress is going well, although every time I sit back and look at the piece I think that there is further to go until it is done.
At the end of a positive morning an email dropped into my inbox and I knew from the preview that I could leave it until later – Thank you for your application to X. We are sorry to say… – which rather put a dampener on the first half of the day, but that is the way it goes. I have lost count of the number of rejections, setbacks and smashed plates that were once spinning, and yet on I plough.
I always remember that thing about boxing, coincidentally the alternative career that I was advised to take up by the government’s online jobometer to replace my “hobby”, that it is not about how hard you can hit but about how hard you can get hit and still get back up. One day in the not too distant future I shall have a complete symphony with my name on it and, rejections or otherwise, that needs to be the focus of my writing for a while yet.
I did, however, get to spend a fine afternoon in the company of a fellow gamer who for the past few months has appeared to me only onscreen, and we managed to sit at the same table and graciously allow each other one victory each in our couple of plays before I went home with bags full of loans and gifts. That side of my life, the copy writing and so on, is proving to be fun and rewarding, a pleasant additional arrow in the quiver, if always less fundamental than the music.
So a day of ups and downs again, one of personal satisfaction but wider rejection. At the least the opportunities are beginning to appear once more after so long of pretty much nothing, and in that sense a rejection is better than silence.